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Thursday, July 31

没有Alvin Ang的日子,第18天

today i'm in the mood! :D
S-I-N-G-A-P-O-R-E!
singapore's birthday is coming :D
43years old alr sial!

chemistry was good :D
i really enjoy myself in chemistry :D
mrs gan is a good teacher! and me being the good student,
i voted her as caring teacher this year.
seeeeee~ i'm hao xue sheng.

aft which was PE!
did sit-ups and inclined pull up.
32(with cheatings :X) and 16!(one more to grade A okays! :|)
tired and muscle ache ah D:

den was history!
nothing much, just bhareth with his i dno wad race accent.
hahaha :D

a-maths was nxt! miss chew was late for the lessons,
so left 15 min but eat into our recess.
busy doing filing ~

recess,
dno wad's wrong with 3o6 big gang.
started to have this fake fight outside our class.
and so the sch thought have another free show.
lol, and alvin ang gotta apologise to the sch. D:
xin tong?......

and was POA!
i miss miss lee luhs D:
gotta wait till august then she will come back and teach us D:
2 periods of tt, sianzsx.

mother tongue! D:
i think i dislike mother tongue class ):
i think i seriously want to change class or drop mother tongue.
so boring uhs!

VE, went hall for a hp theft talk.
quite helpful :D
IMEI code :D
and tt's when alvin apologise to the sec3s for shouting across the quadrangle.
at tt moment was so afraid wad if he kena de bu shi say sry but expel.
hais, you changed, you changed.

aft sch, went homed with illene,kw and sher.
bathe and went hub to meet the guys.
watched money not enough!
with edwin, ch, kr, jk, kw, regi, sher, illene :D
the movie was so touching luhs D:
the girls cried! )':
boys cried too ):
i love my ah ma, mama and papa dearly ):
dont ever wanna lose them! ):
kally came to look for us aft her band stuffs,
they ate at kfc and homed abt 620 :D

ah ma being so nice,
she told me tt tmr cannot late go home,
cannot this cannot that.
awww, so sweet :D
i love my ah ma :D

and monster!
sorry lahhhhs ):
i will pei you de nor.
smile yi ge :D
dont worry over past events le okays?
bei wo horrrrr! (:

tired and wanna slp soon :D

i cant find a place in your heart anymore.
i will learn to be that gurdian angel behind you.
i'm sorry and i really love you.
haiszsx.
应该学会放弃?
goodbye my love, wo de ai ren~

picturessss! :D

colour contrast? :D
aft movie :D







while waiting for illene :D
roxanne :D
turtle precious :D

the commotion D;


jin performance! during lunch time concert.
i'm number one!




my papa :D
and my doreamon :D

zixin :D:D:D


ciaos!

Wednesday, July 30

没有Alvin Ang的日子,第17天

i love you but i hate the way you treated me.
what? am i only suppose to be with you only when you need me?
or just a passerby in your life?

i'm so @*#(&*^*#(^$&*^$#)#@$ right now ):

those feelings seemed to change.
tsktsk.













i need some time.






tmr gonna watch money not enough?
LOL. i dont knw if i still got any mood to watch movie.
kinda disappointed yah knw? ):
tsktsk.





MONSTER you are the best :D

Tuesday, July 29

没有Alvin Ang的日子,第16天

sorry dint post ytd cus i went to bishan park 1 and 2 with regi and gh :D
den came back was mugging hard, (you dint see it wrong, MUGGING:D)
i mugged till 10 :D

okays, went walking to bishan park 1 which was near my house.
wanted to rent bike, in the end the shop was closed.
so we played badminton awhile, den went bishan park 2 to the fitness corner :D
wanted to walked to lower pierce reservoir but in the end, kally chua cor us as she finished her 2.4 a day in advance because she got band today! how sad D:
she came in 15++, cant rmb. illene's one crazy women, 1413! :/
i got one big blueblack ): dont rmb how i get it, but it looks super ugly ):
so we went to amk centre, went to buy water bottles :D
SDH all got the same pink addidas 'impossible is nothing' water bottles :D
in case you dont know what's SDH, it's a name from regina to cor 4 of us.
SI DUO HUA. i knw it's kinda orbiang, but i love it :D
hehex, homed abt 630 :D

today!
school's okays, just i'm always feeling moody in the first few periods. ):
but aft tt was okays! thanks jas yeo, always cheering me up during chinese lessons :D
thn was social studies and physics! make me wanna fall asleep. ZzZ
it was deyi idol during assemblyyyyyy~
jin sang crush crush crush :D soooo niceeee ayeeee :D

aft tt, jin and regi came my hse and prepared to yck stadium.
saw him run! whole face soooo red :O
like dua pek gong :x laughs*
anw, when it was our turn, i cannot reach target lahhhh ):
i think i either 16plus or 17plus.
i hate stadiummmmm ><><
i got 20th in position D:
cant chiong the last min sial ):

went nyp for our lunch :D
nyp is real big! and it will be my next hangout place :D
monster say he's gonna bei wo from one block to another okays!
i make it open in my blog! wahaha! :D
and the mac is real cheap :D
somemore so many shuai ge :D
wahaha! (:

everytime i try to fly i fall without my wings,
i feel so small, i guess i need you baby :D
i love you :D

and i wanna watch the leap yrs and ps i love you :D
any kind souls have disc to lend me?
and my prom night! i hvn catch it ):

oh, there's this stupid cabby and drunk woman shouting in the middle of the night. 4am okays!
the woman doesnt want to pay cabfare and the cabby wake me up by calling xiaojie.
i tot who siol D: LOL. stupid ppl! tsk! make me woke up late today~ ):

okays! off to dinner.
i'm a happy girl now :D

Sunday, July 27

没有Alvin Ang的日子,第14天

i think i suffer from serious depression thingy.
i was damn sad the whole morning and afternoon.
tsktsk!

somemore i do feel kinda sick again,
if tmr i'm not well, i'm not going sch, probably.
tmr's a longlong day.
with physics remedial till 3plus.
gonna be a tired day.
)): [double sadness]

today is 2 wks aft the breakup.
and i'm still so sad!
wtf D:

i think i can blame no one for this shits that happens.
because shits do happens.
i'm tired.

will you still hold me because you scare i'll get lost in the crowd?
or will you be there to protect me when i need you?

oh no, constance.
wake up, he's nvr going to be thr for you, ever and anymore.
))): [thriple sadness]

i think i step one strong.
i'm NOT strong at all.

papergirl going to fall again.
hard to pick myself up, once more.
hais ):

i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad
i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad

alvin , do you know? ):

Saturday, July 26

When You Look Me In The Eyes

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah

If the heart is always searching
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone
I never make it on my own

Dreams can't take
The place of loving you
There's gotta be a million reasons
Why it's true

When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's alright
When you're right here by my side

When you look me in the eyes
I catch a glimpse of heaven
I find my paradise
When you look me in the eyes

How long will I be waiting
To be with you again?
I'm gonna tell you that I love you
In the best way that I can

I can't take a day without you here
You're the light that make my darkness disappear

When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's alright
When you're right here by my side

When you look me in the eyes
I catch a glimpse of heaven
I find my paradise
When you look me in the eyes

Movin' on, I start to realize
I can reach my tomorrow
I can hold my head up high
And it's all because you're by my side

When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's alright
When you're right here by my side

When I hold you in my arms
I know that it's forever
I just got to let you know
I never wanna let you go

'Cause when you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's alright
When you're right here by my side

When you look me in the eyes
I catch a glimpse of heaven
Oh, I find my paradise
When you look me in the eyes, oh, yeah, ah

没有Alvin Ang的日子,第13天

sudd i feel like listening to this song.
i know you're looking at my blog for past 2 days.
i wonder if today will be the same.

today is our eleven months,
do you rmb it at all?
i want to be with you today, now, future and forever.
i'm waiting for your answer D:
i miss you like anything now.

did you change or not change at all?
did our love changed from the starting?

i love you baby.
you'll always be my baby.
if avoiding me now means giving me time to forget you,
i can tell you i'll never forget you this way.
really really never.

went to watch regina's pesta(?) match at kallang netball centre.
sudd i feel that being a sportsplayer is good :D
just feel that luhs. helped ms connie tally scores for 2 rounds,
aft tt gh came, watched and homed with him abt 430.
meanwhile, talked to him and makes me feel good?
i know at least what's alvin ang doing.
safe and sound :D

all right, i think i'm sick again ):
blocknosed and a bit fever.
must be the sun today! ):
rahhhhs!

i miss you alvin baby ):
i love you.

Friday, July 25

没有Alvin Ang的日子,第12天

i'm a happy girl today!
i dint cry, emo, or get angry at anything.
today i was real happyyyyyy :D
it's been a long long time since i was so happy.

morning went sch alone as kw was still busy doing up her hair,
so i jalan jalan to sch.
when i morning called this 'stranger',
he says he treats me like a stranger now, or wad-so-ever.
because regina says guys like to step one.
ming ming want to guan xin you,
beat ard the bush.
so nvm, i'm happy so i will call him 'stranger' for time being. :D
he kup my phone, dont want come sch? :|
he went back to square oneeeeee. and mdm normilla still ask me takecare of him,
change him into a good boy, nahhhhhs. impossible.
nvm abt him during sch time cus nth much happen.

it was, maths then eng then history.
okays, i love to play history games :D
thanks mr chia! he prepared a game for us because of the HOD is coming in,
in the end, nvr come in go drink kopi. lmao.
aft recess was mother tongue, oh, i can drop my chinese.
i only get 28/50 for my test. twenty-eight! :O
thn it was physics, i got damn damn high,
shooted the damn american pig all the way!
weeeees :D edwin see sucks anyway ):
too badddd, he keep using lighter to make my face! rahs.

after sch went 422 to buy cake for jin :D
her birthday is on sun but she is grounded.
sad for her, so i'm her very nice fren. at least nicer than regi :X
so i decided to plan a not-so-surprise cake for her during her performance in lunchtime concert.
choir performed well :D papa(chun heng) and mama(michelle) are very sweet uhs!
mama sing song dedicated to him sial. how sweettttttt ): envy~

went training and thanks edwin, kr, jin, biying and regi for waiting for me :D
went hub and homed :D

oh, something for sherlyn :D
i read your blog and you are really brave.
you took this step and i will support you all the way.
although i seems to be not knowing anything,
but i do, i understand how you feel.
like a string hanging there and you cant move on in life or stay there.
but this time, you're right!
please, pwuease do smile all right? wanna see my mushroom happy on monday :D
takecare!

a big secret,
REGINA loves and misses me but she wont admit.
go her blog and find out more :D
weeeees :D

regina, jiayou for tmr okays?
i yong yuan support you :D
hehehes :x

and to my stranger, you rmb what's tmr's date?
it's twenty-six-o-seven-o-eight.
i miss you and am still loving you.
(:

ciaos!

Thursday, July 24











没有Alvin Ang的日子,第11天

we are forever best friends.
no matter what, i wont leave you guys behind anymore.
i'm sorry that i choose to S* the past 3 days.
but now, i really quit.
i promise you i wont start or touch it again.
losing you all is really hurtful, as painful as how i lost alvin.
i dont want to lose alvin and lose you all again!

Regina;
really sorry this few days.
i know you're really very worried abt me,
and i still dont appreciate it.
still remember that time when we were in china,
how scary the hotel in wuxi was.
we even bathe together! and we really had so much fun in china.
waiting for sms everynight, shopping together.
it will always be part of my memory.
and how much you tried to help me to patch things up with alvin,
really xiexie ni.
you dont have to feel heartbroken,
cus i nvr left you at all, you will always be my best best best(x million) sister:D

Jin;
i'm not sure if you can see this part of the post.
but, i'm sorry too. to make you worry for me.
at first i cried, and i felt really lost.
instead of telling out things to you,
i turn to S*, i know you and regina think it's a silly decision.
but this past 3 days, i learnt a lot.
really a lot. i feel regret of not listening to you in the beginning.
sunday is your birthday, i think quitting is the best present for you ehs.
i still rmb when you compete for deyi idol last yr,
how much 206 support you, and listen to you when you practiced.
still a superwoman in my heart, and it'll be forever.
you're same with regina, my best best best(x million) sister:D

Racheal;
you dont have to feel sorry okays?
this was my stupid decision, and i learnt the lessons.
so i quit, and i promise you i wont touch it anymore.
everytime when i have something in mind, you'll always be the first one to care and concern for me.
like how a big sister will care for her lil sister.
i know tt this time i really disappoint you, but i wont again.
i will learn how to move on in life without doing foolish things.
i remember how i knew you from starting, and till now.
we're as close as real blood sisters :D
i really want to thank you from my heart.
xie xie ni racheal. my best best best(x million) laogong! (:

i learnt my lessons, i've stop and quit.
i know my mistakes.
i'm sorry.
even to my monster!

and alvin, i know i shuldnt have run up to your hse to clarify things with you.
but it was a rash decision.
i dont like the feeling of not being cared by you.
i dont like the feeling of seeing you walked away.
the way you attitude me really breaks my heart.
this is the 11 day without you,
and i'm still thinking we were still together.
2 more days to our '11months'.
rmb you promise to save and scrimp to buy our new rings?
i know it's impossible now.
everything with you is impossible.
you know how much i wanted to cry and tell you how much i missed you at your hse?
but i knw you dont want to hear any more of this.
so i stopped. i just want to see you safe and sound.
please really takecare of yourself?
you wont let me takecare of you, den you takecare of yourself kays?
my heart will skip a beat for you everytime you walk pass.

hope tmr will be a new day.
and it's friday!
i hate trainings ):
and i broke a new record! 1655 for my 2.4!
like how much faster i was? 2 min plus faster compared to last yr.
and i love mrs gan lessons, i love chemistry :D
i love regina, jin, racheal, kally too:D
edwin, xiexie nies.
kwanwei, jyjy! we wont touch it anymore.
mushroom, thanks for the counselling today. ily (:

TMR WILL BE A NEW DAY.

Wednesday, July 23

没有Alvin的日子,第10天

today was really a bad bad day.
met kwanwei in the morning,
went bought breakfast for edwin and alvin.
in the end only edwin ate,
alvin dint came and collect.
so gave hongyi and the guys eat.

started to feel uneasy in the morning,
i know you guys dont wan me to S*
but, i really got no one to turn to.
words are really words to me.
it really did not help at all.
everytime you all tried to comfort me,
i will stay strong and stop crying.
because, everytime i cry in class.
everyone turns moody, sad.
seeing me in everyone's concern really makes me feel bad.

this time, i can tell you guys how hurt i am.
the few sentences will come up de,
'give up, forget, nvm'
ppl keep telling me this.
i'm feeling numb. numb of everything.

today how you guys treated me was,
i really bo wei gong.
if we're not going thru this together.
i think we're really going to spend our times in class like this.
until i quit.

you cannot expect me to cry everyday,
and i never ever want to keep this from you all.
i know the ending will come up like this.
and what is there to tell in the beginning?

disappointed, sad.

all this need time to heal.

i'll still be there for you 3 when you need me.
meantime,
try to accept the fact bahs.

went yishun stadium today with edwin and kwanwei.
got off at northpoint, went to eat at dunno which coffeeshop.
bused to yishun. ran 1 round, all cannot make it.
so we decided to walk ard and fool ard.
homed abt 5.30
thanks edwin and kwanwei.
(:


i'm tired.
real tireddd.


过了这次之后,
从今以后,我不知道是否还是朋友。
但,我永远会守护你们。

Tuesday, July 22

没有alvin的日子, 第9天

ytd the channel 8 show reminds me of him.

i rmb once when we quarrel at 422 carpark,
how tight you held my hands.
and the tone of your voice,
really scares me off.

but now,
even if i want to quarrel with you like before.
it's very very difficult.

today i called him for his morning call,
but ended up he dint wanna come sch so early.

he came at abt 8plus, den dno wad shit with mr goh,
xiang guan xin ta que yao mo mo de. :/

i text him, but he dint replied.
maybe he's starting to avoid me.
and that's 100000000times of heartbreak lah.
):

i miss you alvin ang.
i want to use the rest of my life to take care of you.
one more chance.


going 2.4 training with that fatso tmr :D
together with kwanwei!
i'm aiming less than 15?
dont know ke yi mah.













i got no other ways to turn to.
except.
VR.



):

Monday, July 21

No. 8 day without alvin ang.

i dont think i'm changing anything in my blog.
like the skins, pic or profile column.

it reminds me of him.

i know i'm stupid, i got hurt by him again and again yet i'm still here crying out like a fool.
but, thru all these hurts.
what i know is, i really love him.

i'm blogging out everyday and counting the number of days i'm without him.
cause i know the days arent going be short.
maybe i can reach like 200/300 plus ?
like the 'tang xin feng bao' show.
if anyone have watched.
it's very very touching.
alfred and chang zai xin was together(after far their graduation and met again),
till one day, chang zai xin's fren was the 'mistress' of alfred.
alfred found it very thrilling, and continued the 8months relationship with this mistress.
chang zai xin start to find it weird and something wrong with alfred,
she went to check her mails, messages and etc.
alfred could send abt 30plus msg a day but chang zai xin only received 3.
C.Z.X also knew the mistress was her BEST fren.
how sad it can be right? :/
den alfred started to treasure C.Z.X aft the breakup.
he waited for her for 300plus day and he will blog out everything.
hais, so sweet and touching.

too bad, i'm not chang zai xin.
i'm constance lee.


went northpoint with edwin, kr and ch.
shop ard, slack.
homed at 6.

thanks edwin! (:







i'm sick and tired alr.
really wanna just sleep and nvr wake up.

Sunday, July 20

i love you.
but you will never understand.



maybe it's all my fault. or maybe not.
sorry baby,
can you please dont go for this time time round?




i need you.



i love alvinnn ang D: