it's the not-so-smooth period in life now,

so many many questions in my mind,
i wanna ask, but i don't dare.

why do you keep saying that you're THAT kind of person when you weren't.
you said you don't like to stick with girlf,
but how come that wasn't the case 2 months before?
you said you don't know how to treat me good,
but how come that wasn't the case 2 months before?
you said you wanted to be nice to me,
but how come you still blow hot & cold towards me?

was i THAT stupid to patch with you?


god damn it. i'm fucking fed up now.
i don't know what to do, how can i do, to save this relationship.
ending it? or holding it back?
i'm very very very very very xin ku.
why am i the one that's crying every night w/o anyone knowing?
you friends told me that you are like that,
or perhaps you are LIKE that when you're with them.

WHY? can you please tell me!!

): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ):

Let's turn the clock back to, 2 years before.

all these days along, we have been so happy,
quarreled, laughed, played, cried, .. etc.
how much i cherish my times with you,
although we break so many times,
every time when it comes to break,
I'll be the one who is so devastated.
I'll be so lost, so hurt, and i don't know who to turn to.
i know you will come back every time you leave me.
but that doesn't ease the pain.
and every time you ask for patch,
i won't hesitate to think twice. because i trust and believe you have always change,
but things really don't turn out to be like that.


i dont want to cont' anymore.

i love you very much Alvin.
........